President Trump’s Inaugural Address (As heard by liberals)

I was blessed to be able to attend the January 20th, 2017 Inauguration of Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States. I found his speech to be powerfully poignant and a beacon of hope for the nation. But while I stood on the mall on that cool, damp day listening to President Trump’s words revive the revolutionary spirit that had been dormant in the chest of our nation for too long, I realized that not everyone was hearing what I was hearing. (Actual full speech on the right side of the blog under featured video.)

There was a contingent of people who were listening to the newly minted President’s speech and hearing a very different message. And because I find value in building bridges, I thought I’d share with my readers (the conservative ones) what I believe the liberal contingent heard on that historic day. I want to encourage my conservative friends to reach out to at least one liberal and reassure him that what he “heard” in that speech was really coming from his imagination. Explain that he is likely suffering from TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) and suggest a remedy of a good week’s sleep, a hiatus from CNN and MSNBC, and a copy of the US Constitution with Cliff’s Notes.

So my conservative comrades, the following is what I believe liberals heard President Trump say on what is likely now considered their National Day of Mourning.

“Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans, and people of the world: thank you.

We, the (white, Christian) citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country and to restore its promise, for all of our (white) people, (in the spirit of the great Adolf Hitler).

Together, we (straight, white, Christian) people will determine the course of America and the world for years to come. We will face challenges. We will confront (gay and minority) hardships. But we will get the job done.

Every four years, we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power, and we are grateful (that black President Obama and black First Lady Michelle Obama are out of office). They have been (insignificant).

Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning. Because today we are not merely transferring power from one Administration to another, or from one party to another – but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C. and giving it back to you, the (white, Christian) American People.


For too long, a small group (of Democrats) in our nation’s Capital have reaped the rewards of government while the (white) people have borne the cost. Washington (Democrats) flourished – but the (white) people did not share in its wealth. (Democrat) politicians prospered – (and they gave your jobs to the Mexicans and you were closed out). The establishment (protected illegals) but not the (white) citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs. And while they celebrated in our nation’s Capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling (white) families all across our land.

That all changes – starting right here, and right now, because this moment is your moment (my straight, white Christian brothers and sisters): it belongs to you! It belongs to everyone (who is straight and white) gathered here today and everyone (who is straight and white) watching all across America. This is your day! This is your celebration! And this, the United (Whites) of America, is your country!

What truly matters is (that the Right Wing) controls our government, (not that the gays and minorities have a say in our government). January 20th 2017 will be remembered as the day the (straight, white) people became the rulers of this nation again. The forgotten (white) men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.

Everyone is listening to you (white people) now. You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement the likes of which the world has never seen before. At the center of this (white Nationalist) movement is a crucial conviction: that (the black, yellow and red peoples) exist to serve its (white) citizens.

(White, Christian) Americans want great (segregated) schools for their children, safe (minority-free) neighborhoods for their families, and good jobs for themselves. These are the just and reasonable demands of a (white) righteous public. But for too many of our (white) citizens, a different reality exists: (Black and Latino) Mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities (has made them unlivable); rusted-out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation; an education system, flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful (white) students deprived of knowledge; and the crime (committed by blacks and Latinos) and gangs (of blacks and Latinos) and drugs (courtesy of the illegals) that have stolen too many (white) lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential. This (white) American carnage stops right here and stops right now.

We are one (white, Christian) nation – and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams; and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home, and one glorious destiny. The oath of office I take today is an oath of allegiance to all (white, Christian) Americans.

For many decades we’ve enriched (evil) foreign industry at the expense of (superior) American industry; subsidized the armies of other countries while allowing for the very sad depletion of our military; we’ve defended other nations’ borders while refusing to defend our own; and spent trillions of dollars overseas while America’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay. We’ve made other countries rich while the wealth, strength, and confidence of our (beautiful white) country has disappeared over the horizon.

One by one the factories shuttered and left our shores, with not even a thought about the millions upon millions of (white) American workers left behind. The wealth of our (white) middle class has been ripped from their homes and then redistributed across the entire world.

But that is the past. And now we are looking only to the future. We, assembled here today, are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this moment on it’s going to be (white) America first.

Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs will be made to benefit (white) American workers and (white) American families.

We must protect our borders from the ravages of other (evil) countries making our products, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs. Protection (of our white, Christian nation) will lead to great prosperity and strength.

I will fight for you (whites) with every breath in my body, and I will never, ever let you down. America will start winning again, winning like never before. We will bring back our jobs (from those horrid foreigners). We will bring back our borders (from those dirty Mexicans). We will bring back our wealth (for white men only). And we will bring back our dreams (of an all white America).

We will build new roads, and highways, and bridges, and airports, and tunnels and railways all across our wonderful (soon-to-be-all-white) nation. We will get (those) people off of welfare and back to work – rebuilding our (white) country with American hands and American labor. We will follow two simple rules: buy American and hire (preferably white) American.

We will seek friendship and goodwill with the (lowly) nations of the world – but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their own interests first. We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone (*wink, wink), but rather to let it shine as an example for everyone to follow.

We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones – and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate completely from the face of the earth (along with all Muslims in this country).

At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United (Whites) of America, and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other.

When you open your heart to (imperialist) patriotism, there is no room for (diversity without) prejudice.

The Bible tells us, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.” We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue (white) solidarity. When (white) America is united, (white) America is totally unstoppable.

There should be no fear (of minorities). We are protected and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement and, most importantly, we are protected by God.

Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. In America we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action – constantly complaining but never doing anything about it. The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action.

Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done. No challenge can match the heart and fight and spirit of (white) America. We will not fail. Our country will thrive and prosper again. We stand at the birth of a new millennium, ready to unlock the mysteries of space, to free the Earth from the miseries of disease, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow.

A new national (white) pride will stir our souls, lift our sights, and heal our divisions. It is time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget: that whether we are black or brown or white, we (don’t) all bleed the same red blood of patriots, we (shouldn’t) all enjoy the same glorious freedoms, and we (should) all salute the same great (Confederate and) American flag.

And whether a child is born in the urban sprawl of Detroit or the windswept plains of Nebraska, they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same Almighty Creator.

So to all (white, Christian) Americans, in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, and from ocean to ocean, hear these words:

You will never be ignored again. Your voice, your hopes, and your dreams will define our American destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.

Together we will make (white) America strong again.”

Updated: February 21, 2017 — 9:56 pm

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